just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
