They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I can't trust your balls anymore.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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