And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
