we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
