my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
