if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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