why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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