woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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