It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
