I cockslap morals
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
