I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
