i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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