Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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