I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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