We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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