apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
