There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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