Well apparently he's into motor boating.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
