At least make sure they are 18
Why
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
