I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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