found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
