For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We left an ass print on the piano.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
