My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
