If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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