1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
