You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
