we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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