garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
