Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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