WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
