Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
