what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
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