if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
