I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
