Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
