i don't like sucking hair
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
