just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
