I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
