kristin has been a bad kristin
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
