Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
