A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Pants are for mortals
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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