i don't like sucking hair
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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