so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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