Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
As shirtless as possible
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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