At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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