got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
