real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
