He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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