I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
