He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
