just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
